Friday, 23 December 2011

Season's Gratings

If, as Emerson said, "language is the archives of history," then "Merry Christmas" in itself is a whole chronicle of contentious claims. No wonder it rubs so many otherwise affable people the wrong way. Originally it referred to a mass, i.e., a celebration of the Last Supper, the feast of the consubstantiation of the Lord's flesh and blood into bread and wine. For non-Christians, that in itself is a hard swallow. And the "oiled" root embedded in the Greek term Christ doesn't help it go down any easier. Was Jesus really the oiled or "anointed" one? Not according to the Jews, who rejected his divinity outright and got him nailed him to a Roman cross just to drive home the point. So every time we wish someone who's Jewish a "merry Christmas" we might as well be saying something like, "let's commemorate the birth of that mad and blasphemous rabbi, aka the Son of God, who broke bread and predicted his death at the hands of your forbears, forbears who, btw, missed the bus on His messiahship, as even you yourselves are presently missing it by persisting in standing stiff-necked beyond the grace of salvation, bound instead for eternal perdition." Quite a mouthful! Who can blame them if they want to spit some of it back in our face? Then again who knows what Talmudic terror might be lurking under every seemingly innocent "happy Hanukkah?"
I think maybe I'll stick with Sunny Solstice from now on. The whole world, after all, confesses that Sun.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

This is Coquitlam: The Saga continues

Email to Douglas Horne, MLA: D-grade

Eagle Mountain (Eagle Ridge) in North Coquitlam is a crown-managed area that has been entirely given over to off-road "recreational" traffic, to the effective exclusion of all other activities. The gate signs posted by the government are a joke, sternly prohibiting entry in one line and then inviting all and sundry "exceptions" in the next. Sign or no sign, the rules are routinely flouted by any and all comers. Inimical to habitat and hiker alike, the machines, some of them quite monstrous, and their throwback operators, represent an absolute abuse of a scarce and precious resource: sound, soil and air, you name it, the degradation is there! The whole business literally reeks of mismanagement and indifference to the common good.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

C I Aced

Chess is a heady diversion,
Perfected by the Persian,
Where foresight is king,
And victory takes wing
At the least ill-judged incursion.




Tuesday, 6 December 2011

NASA's Milking Way

 The discovery of new "earth-like" planets by NASA proceeds according to a well-established law: the more the space budgets get trimmed, the more frequent and sensational the "breakthroughs" will be. Lately, what with the axing of the shuttle program and the Mars expedition on hold, the folks at Two Independence Square are on a veritable roll of finding brave new worlds. But the character and perhaps even the existence of these "exoplanets" is conjectural at best, sheer fantasy at worst. For heaven' sake, these geniuses can't even convincingly describe the surface of Ceres, sitting a virtual stone's throw from earth, but they can pinpoint a planet light years beyond the range of an optical telescope, and even narrow its temperature down to a degree or two. Breakthrough? Gimme a break!
        Based on nothing more than inferential conclusions drawn from highly iffy infrared data, these speculations get full indulgence from journalists who wouldn't know a peer review from a peer into the blue. An rf perturbation here, a twinkle in the spectra there, and voila! a brand new world where we can all decamp when the big freeze finally hits home. The same perturbations and twinkles could be read any number of ways, of course, so why not read them in the most dramatic way possible, a reading contrived to capture the public imagination and maybe the public purse to boot? The media loves this stuff, and routinely glosses the science with science fiction-like "artist's conceptions" of our distant future home. It's a feel good story all the way - to the bank. Congress, turn on the taps, because Milky Way, we're on our way!
        Too bad the story must end in no way: no way would anyone mount a full fledged colonization to these exoplanets based on such flimsy evidence. No way would any rational human want to travel to such a conjectural paradise after hibernating for a few thousand years like a bug in the ice. No way could a ship even begin to approach the speeds that would materially shorten the time required to get there. And no way could the human organism even withstand the rigors of such a prolonged time in space, since muscle tissue degenerates irremediably in weightlessness. 
       Of course, recent research involving worms in space offers some hope that a way might be found around the last objection. On the other hand it might only underscore the fact that if God had intended man for intergalactic flight then he would have given him rings!

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Polygamy is a Crime, Hypocrisy is a Sin

The unsigned but never resigned luminaries at the Sun, feminists to a man, are experiencing journo orgasm over the court's ruling on the Bountiful case and are demanding immediate climax, er, I mean enforcement. But have the editors paused long enough in their righteous jubilation to consider what such enforcement entails? One man's polygamy sect, after all, is another man's playboy club. And thanks largely to the feminists themselves, in tacit cahoots with the pornographers and sex trade industry - strange bedfellows indeed! - a woman is now answerable to no one on the issue of her issue. Holy wedlock has long since gone the way of the chastity belt when it comes to validating a relationship or the children that spring from it. A man with four or five live-in "girlfriends," all of them pregnant to a girl, can't be forced to limit himself to just one spouse-cum-significant other if his pretend wives consent to stay in the relationship. For was it not decreed by the great Trudeau himself, father of our infallible liberal constitution, that the state has no business in the nation's bedrooms?  
      Short of reverting to the days when "living in sin" reaped social stigma, if not hell fire, Canada is stuck with her many variant twists on the traditional family, something, be it noted, that the Sun itself has been known to warble its approval over in the past. Condemning polygamy  because of its effect on children while ignoring the harm they suffer in divorced and single parent (ie "single mom") families rings hollower than a dyke's dead dildo. Thought experiment: if it's OK for Heather to have two mommies, how come it's so intolerable when her two mommies get "married" to one man?
       The feminists, the courts, and the media are the true, if embarrassed, parents of the bastardized concept of the "family" now being exploited by the dirty old men over Bountiful way. Put another way, we might say that religious polygamy snuck past the door opened up for divorce, prostitution, homosexuality and pornography, etcetera in the house that Pierre built. It's the familiar law of unforeseen consequences coming at us with classic steamroller vengeance, a law which, unlike love, still honors the clause, for better or worse. And count on it, mom and dad, it'll only get worse.
       Too bad that unforeseen consequences can't be disposed of like unforeseen offspring, down the same clinic drain where the whole idolatry of choice first began to ooze. But the feminist helped make the polygamist's bed. Now let her sleep with it.

Monday, 21 November 2011

Little Sister Don't You!

Yet again they're talking up a Hillary challenge, or rather an Obama concession. But Obama will never stand down for Clinton. Like almost everyone else running for president - and that's all this guy has been doing for the past two years, ie, running for reelection - he's a vanity candidate and a vanity president. In the classic formulation, he became president in order to be somebody, not in order to do something. And that means he cares about himself first and foremost, not his country or his party.
        Not that Clinton is any different. But she's not just vain, she's dumb. If she weren't, she would have politely declined the Secretary of State lollipop which Obama bought her off with in 2009. But like a little sister happily accepting some consolation prize from big brother, she grabbed her sticky hand-me-down prize and dropped her claim to something better. What a sucker!
       If only it weren't so! Think what politics would be like now if Clinton had kept the hand dealt her in 2008 like the ballsy player they said she was. It wasn't a bad hand at all: sure, Obama had all the kings, but there would be another draw in 2012 in which the savvy players would get a chance at the wild card, the economy. Until then, hang on to those three aces, time, talent, and tenacity. And then... bluff.
      And that bluff would have been a shadow across the Obama White House for four harrowing years. We know about shadow cabinets but Hillary would have been the shadow president. Instead of getting her regular and respectful update coverage in the news, she would have been hovering like a cloud over the world's front pages and in the op-eds every day of the week. Obama would know that cloud tangibly in the haze of smoke engulfing him as he went from a few cigarettes to a few packs of cigarettes a day. Hillary would be smoking, too, of course, but in a different sense. In the incendiary sense. Her party might hate her at first, but what could they do as her base, always solid in itself, began to mushroom in the wake of Obama's self-detonating tenure? By now the Independents and even a good showing of Republicans would have come over to her. And instead of mere respect she would have had, by this time next year, - all things else being equal - what secretaries and little sisters only dream of having: real power. Suck on that, lil brother!
       Clinton should have seen that Obama wouldn't get any traction in a soon to be Republican senate, or at the very least her sharpie better half should have sensed what was coming. What was Bill telling her, for God's sake? Politics and poker are as bread and butter but these two players threw in a jackpot hand like the two rubes that some people always thought they were. Slick Willie go fish!
     
       

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

tsunami

Like Knut commanding the waves to halt,
Zion mounts her vain assault
Against the tide she did herself exalt,
Begotten from her hidden fault.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Bachmann's Electile Dysfunction
Pols who court dame fame may laugh
At skeletons, scandals and the gaffe,
But woe betide them mad enough 
To woo the vote with drooping staff.

Friday, 21 October 2011

W is for Whore

The decider just blew into town, taking a decidedly cool 150 K off the local suits who evidently look up to him as some kind of business model, if not their fantasy-in-the-flesh master of the universe. Being "business leaders," a breed not generally noted for the broader perspective, they seem to have missed the irony of highlighting an "economic summit" with the guy who destroyed the global economy. I can just picture the accompanying brochure, How to make a fortune by wrecking the world! 
         Surrey's mayor said she knew her "invitation" to Bush would be controversial, but apparently what she doesn't know is the difference between an invitation and a purchase. Bush is pimping himself out to any and all willing to play John to his Jezebel. Nothing unusual there. Yesterday's White House is today's whore house for all the perpetual "Mr. Presidents" still cumbering the earth after office. The only difference between a call girl and a call pres is that prostitutes lie on their backs but presidents will lie anywhere. In the world of celeb politics yesterday's lie becomes today's lay.
       Bush, however, is an especially dirty lay. His stupidly bad "decision points" left Iraq in ruins and his own country in shambles. The man has blood on his hands and misery in his wake but has been allowed to strut about the globe unchallenged by the mainstream presstitutes. And although groups such as Amnesty International are always on hand to stand witness to the enormity of his crimes, their power to call him to account is little more than symbolic, if that. We can't even throw a shoe at him. Bush hides behind his secret service guard and hides his reputation behind compliant governments and a prostrate press. No one can touch him.
      But we can touch his source of revenue, i.e., his customers. Why not "out" these power-worshipping "business leaders" who fawn over the world's worst tyrants behind closed doors, lining up like groupies for a photo with the great man while fondling their $600 presidential pens? By funding Bush they are in effect supporting the legacy of his monstrous tenure and all the willful destruction of innocent human life that it entailed. They are retroactively complicit in his crimes and as they try to take a lustre from him should be made to take a share of his obloquy as well.
       Find out who they are and plaster their names - and more importantly, their businesses - all over the internet. Why should we give them our custom which in turn underwrites Bush's war profiteering? Shame the johns and hit them where it hurts, - and hurts Bush - in the pocket. The message should be the same as for any transaction, honest or sinful: buyer beware.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Orthotox Talks: Comments from here and there


On a travel column about Vancouver in the London Telegraph

And Britons - be sure to rely on your own favourite news sources, like the excellent Telegraph, via the web, or you can usually get them at some specialty outlets in the better hotels. Otherwise you'll be stuck with "surely two of the dullest newspapers in North America," as Barbara Amiel once described the insipid Sun and its moronic congener 
, the Province. Vancouver: fantastic views, awful news.


On an anti-white comment from 

Sri Lanka:  
"as if they [ie whites] ever had that [ie culture]" Our culture is your culture, friend. In fact you're using it right now, in the language of your comment, in the technology/science enabling you to express it (electricity, computer science, internet infrastructure, market competitiveness etc etc), and right down to the tradition of a free exchange of opinion which you take for granted but which would likely have been prohibited if not unheard of in your own wonderfully backward "culture." When we go, everything goes, so get ready for the new dark age in every sense of the word.  


On a National Post bit about whether Herman Cain's smokin' ad is "brilliant or weird:" 
"I like Cigarettes; I like to think of fire held in a man’s hand. FIRE, a dangerous force, tamed at his finger tips. I often wonder about the hours when a man sits alone watching the smoke of a cigarette, thinking. I wonder what great things have come out from such hours. When a man thinks there is a spot of fire alive in his mind – and it is proper that he should have the burning point of a cigarette as his one expression."- Ayn Rand 
(Atlas Shrugged, 1957)

On Buchanan questioning,"What is it we wish to preserve?": 



Three great tsunamis that cracked the melting pot and drowned a nation: wave of black slaves 17th -18th centuries (sowing the seed of all "entitlements"); wave of East Europeans circa 1920 (the seed of socialism/statism); wave of Mexicans and EVERYBODY ELSE circa 1970 onwards (the seed of tribalism). Different races, different times, but always the same motivation: profit over prudence. Immigration was a bet with the devil and the devil won.


On an LA Times column trashing Michelle Bachmann for a number "misstatements:" 
"...only 663 [illegal immigrants] had ties to countries with links to terrorism." Uhh, how many times does 19 go into 663? 

On a Telegraph piece waxing on about America on top again:

"It is almost the only economic power with a fertility rate above 2.0..."  Si senor, neustras mujeres estan teniendo muchos de los bebes!

On Coulter branding the OWS crowd as parasites:

The rads may be living with Mom, but it's rednecks like Ann who still need the fairy tales. After aiding and abetting the '08 bailout which saw Wall Street's royalty siphon off America's wealth and destroy its commonwealth, Coulter's "representative" government stands complicit in the most egregious act of bloodsucking in history.

On Buchanan lamenting the eclipse of white America:

Adios white - and red and yellow and blue and green. (Because when Whitey goes, say good-bye to the Indian's privilege, the Asian's promotion, the Jew's protection, and even the environment's preservation.)



Monday, 10 October 2011


 News Roundup   

Ah, Moday morning news, and every story, even the most "tragic," still elicits a sardonic grimace.

English's Sick Illness
In the Gazette the headline, "Building mental health wellness in our children" makes me wonder if we shouldn't also be building some smart intelligence in our journos.
    The New Face of Mourning
The Sun, meanwhile, is running a rather garbled version of a teen stabbing. The victim, who contrary to the Sun did not intervene in the original fracas, died, sadly. But it seems Dad can only express his private grief by way of a very public Facebook rant, replete with the usual twitterese. swearing and ur-thography: "U raise ur kids with good values and this s--t happens wen they employ them wut do u do? I love you so much jamie hang in therr." And then comes the "heartbreaking status update" after his son's passing: "dont no wut to do so lost rite now r i p son i ll never forget u and will always love u." Heartbreaking, indeed, to think that this is now the way people choose to handle their most intimate moments of anguish, by going viral in mangled cloud-talk. How did we ever cope before social media brought us all together under Zukerberg's billion buck hustle? But u no wut they say, behind every "cloud," a silver dollar lining... 
Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Flimflam Tim
There was a young hustler named Tim,
Who thought others should be just like him:
Though fat as a PIIG,
When he strutted full fig,
They almost believed he was trim.






Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Patriot Games: Obama Makes his Bones, Palin Plays the Skeleton, Bush Out of his Skull

Osama Bin Laden, to borrow a line from The Godfather, now sleeps with the fishes. He was the
self-proclaimed architect of 9-11, the most audacious act in all of history, which made him a worthy target for Obama, a self-professed believer in audacity. Not the "audacity of hope," understand, but the audacity of hype. It turns out that practically all the dope accompanying the initial report of the raid was sheer unmitigated BS. No explosive house storming, no armed resistance, no human shield. Even the photo of the president and his cronies viewing the attack was contrived, since the video feed failed well before the raid began. That prompts the question: What were they watching? Maybe it was the Harrsion Ford flick, Patriot Games, which depicts just such an assassins' raid being watched live by the CIA back home in Langley. More likely it was something more suited to Obama's new-found stature as hit man of the free world. The Godfather, perhaps, or even Goodfellas. After all, he's now what the mafia types call a made man. Former enemies like Glen and Rush are lining up to kiss his cheeks. Sarah, though, is keeping her distance, carping on about Bush being the real hero, and generally playing the skeleton at the national feast. As well she might, since this sudden act of national vengeance from the erstwhile apologizer could mean the kiss of death to her own ambitions. Now she's the one sounding whiny, if not wimpish. Sarah Palin now sleeps with the jellyfishes.
Quite apart from White House viewing habits, however, the raid poses all kinds of other questions. Why was an unarmed man gunned down in cold blood? Why was he dumped at sea? Why are his wives being pumped? If extracting info about al-Qaeda is so imperative, wouldn't it have made more sense not to pump their husband in the first place? Or did the US fear that they might actually learn that Bin Laden had nothing directly to do with 9-11? But don't hold your breath for answers. On these issues the White House dons and their media stooges have adopted the political equivalent of Omerta, the sacred code of silence.

And Justice for all, but "judgment" from George.
George Bush, "not overjoyed," broke his own silence on the demise of his elusive adversary - and effective redeemer of his presidency - with the observation that the motive was not hatred, but "exacting judgment." Judgment? Isn't that reserved to God? Oops! In Bushland, America is God (and the president is his prophet).

Monday, 15 August 2011

This Is Coquitlam- the Saga Continues:Trails Travails

(email to the Parks Board)  


"Recreational trails are a vital component of a healthy city, and are one the [sic] most requested recreation facilities in Coquitlam." In fact the trails in Coquitlam are dismayingly mediocre. Your web site misleadingly states that the so-called "Coquitlam Crunch*... connects Eagle Ridge Park to Eagle Mountain Park," whereas the truth is that hikers are required to traverse a rather busy and treacherous section of roadway (Eagle Mountain Drive) if they wish to continue on from the top of the "Crunch" to Eagle Mountain Park. This roadway, some two to three kilometres in length, has almost no allowance for pedestrians, who must wade into the ditches and tall grass and even jump over concrete barriers to avoid oncoming cars. Additionally, during summer months the cars tend to stir up staggering amounts of choking dust on the unpaved portion of the road, often rendering the hiker all but invisible to the following traffic. Try to imagine the cloud of silicate enveloping someone hapless enough to have timed their hike at the end of some softball game, and then maybe you'll want to rethink that bit about a "healthy city." 
The trails at Eagle Mountain Park are themselves disappointing, not to say disappearing. One of them is little more than a paved road through yet another of the ubiquitous Plateau golf courses. Every time I'm up there I'm stopped by people trying to find out where they can go from the parking lot. I generally tell them that what they see is what they get and refer them to a sign some half kilometre down the golf road. (THAT sign is out of date, out of place and out of space, and FYI is the first directory I've seen boasting TWO "You Are Here" stars!) An updated directory would be nice THERE, at the head of the parking area, not on some golf cart road-cum-trail that visitors can't even see from the entrance area. I have watched bewildered visitors stumble around a bit and then get back in their cars completely nonplussed at the idea of calling two baseball fields a trails park.
   Coquitlam has sold its soul to the automobile - and golf cart; it's the most car-crazed and pedephobic "community" I've ever lived in, and its shabby pretenses at being green and physical are laughable. Coquitlam Parks, take a hike!


*It should be noted that this trail is actually part of the hydro right-of-way, and as such is, strictly speaking, not even a part of Coquitlam but rather a provincial crown asset.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Tar Baby in Hot Water (again!)


How pathetic to watch America trying to neuter its cultural history in the name of politically correct conformity. Every figurative use of language now has to submit to the moralistic equivalent of spell-check. "Tar baby" was not invented by Uncle Remus  author Joel Chandler Harris (who was white) but merely transcribed from the plantation stories he heard as a youth. The term originated in Africa's (Uburu?) own oral folklore. As a trope for a situation that grows worse the more we struggle against it, try to find one that equals its sheer sticking succinctness. The negro mind that once helped broaden the global colloquy now seems set on squelching it.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Calling All Cars!





APB: Jim Chu Caught with his Pants Down: Wanted for Questioning

Description: short, politically correct and deceitful; aka the smiling Buddha of ineptitude; charge: naked incompetence, dereliction, impersonating a police officer; last seen passing the buck at a press conference.

Also Wanted: the following Accomplices:
Gregor Robertson; description: tall, politically correct and deceitful; charge: impersonating a mayor; last seen trying to cover his ass in Stanley Park.
NHL: description: fat, politically correct and deceitful; charge: misrepresentation, inciting a riot and biting.
The Vancouver media: description: anorexic, politically correct and deceitful; reportedly amnesiac - evidently unable to recall any event prior to the year 1995; charge: misleading the public, operating a brothel without a license and a criminal disregard for fact. (NB: Potentially suicidal)
Canada: description: obese, hockey-crazed and delusional; charge: collective intoxication, corrupting a minor, and impersonating a nation. Approach with extreme caution: suspect possibly rabid.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Israel Under the Bus


Zionosaurus Rex



"President Obama has thrown Israel under the bus. He has disrespected Israel and undermined its ability to negotiate peace. He has also violated a first principle of American foreign policy, which is to stand firm by our friends." Whatever you say, Mitt. Only, admit it: the bus arrived right on time for your campaign- and all those shekels pouring in from AIPAC should make clear what the real first prinicple of American foreign policy is.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Patriarchy Rears its Ugly (but Clever) Head


The Road to Success
Workshops and "conversations" can't contrive
An answer to the mystery called drive;
Studies and programs are but broken stone
For nature's steamroller, testosterone.

Monday, 11 April 2011

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

This Little Lighter of Mine

Terry Jones has got his mojo back. Whether he found his inner light or just missed the limelight, we can't tell. But his defiance both of his own government and of Islam's ambition of world government is welcome news. Jones may be a fool and a crackpot - labels that any self-styled "man of God" can expect from today's media - but he's doing a task that our wise and sane elite have run away from: standing up against the pernicious spread of tolerance for the intolerant disease of Islam. Now the leader of the free world, he of hope's audacity, is calling Jones "intolerant." I guess that's how it goes when audacity is on the other foot. General Petraeus is burned up, too, about the "hateful, disrespectful," act, even though he's presumably in Afghanistan to safeguard Jones' right to be as hateful and disrespectful as law allows. And in America that's a fair bit.
Unlike Canada. Being a Canadian forever in the shadow of Section Thirteen, I'm limited in the expressive scope of my hate and disrespect for the most hateful and disrespectful creed on earth. Limited in the sense that there's an HRC frump with her tyrant arse parked dead center on my conscience. So no burning shall be seen north of the border. Not of holy books and not of liberty's torch, either. But at least let me lift a symbolic cup of kerosene to "toast" Jone's audacity: Well done, thou good and faithful servant! (That's how we like our Korans, Pastor: well done!)

Friday, 25 March 2011

Enter three Witches

Samantha Power Hillary Clinton Susan Rice

When shall we three meet againe? In Thunder, Lightning, or in Raine? When the Hurley-burley's done, When the Battaile's lost, and wonne.

Pat Buchanan is calling it the "three sisters war," but in its equivocal Shakespearian undertones I'd liken the Libyan adventure more to the weird sisters war. Weird to see Ms Power teaming with the "monster" Clinton; weird the way Obama, Macbeth-like, needs the prompting of women to get him to finally act; and weird, too, as New Republic notes, to see the spindle side of government so hawkish. That last bit of weirdness, however, is but a surface irony. The belligerent belles are all motivated, so they say, from humanitarian concerns. And rightly so. The ape must go! But there remains a deeper, damning irony in the spectacle of three of the most powerful feminists in America aiding and abetting the most sinister and ruthless group of misogynic Mohammedan misfits on the globe, al-qaeda. To quote again from Macbeth: For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Haven't we sampled this witches brew already?

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Flag if Offensive: Mideast Madness

"So guys, just so ya know, Stephen Harper of Canada has come out in support of our protests as long as we keep it non-violent. Any questions?"
"Uhh... What's "Kanaduh?"
"Ben Ali, you're a murderer, an embezzler, a pervert and a tyrant!"
"Thanks, I knew ya'd see it that way."
"Sure he's a dumb sonofabitch, but dammit he's our dumb sonofabitch!"
"Ya mean Mubarak, Sir?"
"No, I mean Joe Biden!"
"How we gonna get this creep extradited to his real home before he causes us international embarrassment?"
"Ya mean Ben Ali's brother-in-law, Sir?"
"No, I mean Ignatieff!"
"Mubarak's fall may impact our own occupied territory."
"Ya mean Gaza?"
"No! Capitol Hill."




Saturday, 1 January 2011

Some New Year's Resolutions for Old Media Liars

It's that time again, when we're expected to take a look in the scary mirror, take stock, and undertake some remedy against the woeful condition of our bodies and minds. But what about the condition of our language? When words lose the rigor of their meaning, we lose our ability for introspection, the mirror of conscience. That is scary. Let all denizens of the fourth estate take note of how fat, lazy and contemptible they've become serving the other three estates, ie, wealth, power and privilege, instead of truth, justice and the public good, and then let them swear to the following: "We, the recognized hacks of the corpulent, er, corporate press do hereby solemnly pledge that henceforth and forever we...

Won't call it "progress" when it's really a catastrophe in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Won't call it "insurgency" when it's simply defending one's country against invasion.
Won't call it "aggression" if it's in fact defense against aggression (as in Iraq, N. Korea, S. Ossetia etc).
Won't call it "heroic" when it's simply getting killed.
Won't call it "cowardly" when it's about killing oneself.
Won't call it "sexy" when it's just sluttish.
Won't call it "genius" just because it sells products.
Won't call it "recovery" when it's only another jobless bubble.
Won't call it "capitalism" when it's nothing but socialism for banksters.
Won't call it "quantitative easing" when in truth it's deliberate and calculated inflation.
Won't call it a "recession" if it's actually a depression.
Won't call it "warming" if it is actually cooling.
Won't call it "climate" when it's only weather. ( ie, getting warmer)
Won't call it "weather" when it's actually climate. (ie, getting colder)
Won't call it "consensus" when it's simply bias.
Won't call it "science" when it's really just politics.
Won't call it "expert" when it's only one among many varied points of view.
Won't call it a "marriage" when it's just a shack-up.
Won't call it "homophobic" when it's merely family friendly.
Won't call it "xenophobic" when it's merely nation friendly.
Won't call it "bulimia" or "anorexia" or any other "disease" when it's just self-destructive vanity.
Won't call it "addiction" when it's just lack of will power.
Won't call it a "panic attack" when it's merely a loss of self-control.
Won't call it "hyperactivity" or (ahem!) ADHS when it's basically feminized culture boy-bashing.
Won't call it a "cause" of human conduct if it precludes what it means to be human.
Won't call it "diversity" when it prohibits white pride.
Won't call it "diversity" when it outlaws free speech.
Won't call it "youth" when it's really Muslim immigrants rioting.
Won't call it "gangs" when it's actually just blacks killing each other.(The giveaway: outlandish names)
Won't call it "asylum seekers" when it's really illegal entrants.
Won't call it "anti-semitism" when it's merely criticism of Israel.
Won't call it "anti-American" when it's merely critical of Israel.
Won't call it "unChristian" when it's just critical of Israel.
Won't call it "holocaust denier" when it's simply a holocaust inquirer.
Won't call it "family planning" when it's really abortion.
Won't call it a "family" when it doesn't include children.
Won't call it a "child" if it's twenty? thirty?? forty??? years old.
Won't call it a "wife" if it's a male.
Won't call it a "husband" if it's not.
Won't call it a "sex trade worker" if it's just a whore.
Won't call it a "woman" when it's simply a castrated male on hormones.
Won't call it "racist" when it's incontrovertible science.
Won't call it "incontrovertible science" if it's just the latest celebrity fad.
Won't call it "offensive" when it's only simple truth.
Won't call it "hate" when it's just an opinion that we hate.
Won't call it "nazi" when it's only common sense.
Won't call it "intolerant" just because it remains unconvinced (of our lies).
Won't call it a "moderator" if it's a censor.
Won't call it an "administrator" when it's really a censor.
Won't call it "flag as offensive" when it just means censor.
Won't call it a "fact" when it's a rumour.
Won't call it "journalism" when it's nothing but whoring jingoism... "

There! - a resolution for every week of the coming year. Journos, enjoy! Right, Tryon, a PC-free diet for mainstream. Fat chance!