Saturday, 9 June 2012

The devil you say!

  Romney hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell, you say. Ah, but what about Mormon hell? In Mormon hell, Satan is Christ's brother, so maybe there's an off chance for an errant snowball or two down there, and even for an obvious snow job like Obama, if it comes to that, wagging his phony halo of cool over the lost souls of the left and the left behind. If as the Bible says, "greater things are to come," then a Mormon ruling the land where Jesus did a flyby for the Indians' benefit two thousand years ago just might qualify.
       Christians scoff at Joseph Smith's blasphemous brotherhood but who can doubt that Romney and Obama are the cynical sin twins of politics, both of them cleft, right and left, from the obscene loins of Mammon? It's only a question of which path of parturition they took to get where they are. Romney took the usual course of infernal fertilization, gestating long years in the bowels of finance to be finally and unceremoniously shitted out of the god of greed's hinder parts, covered in filthy lucre. Obama, not a true birther, you know, was a C-section, "untimely ripped," like Macduff, from the money womb before he could make his pile at the public trough. Now they're quarreling over their patrimony, each one appealing to Almighty Dollar for nursing rights on America and the world. They're both big boys but it's the trend today to stay attached. Obama has monopolized the national bosom the last few years, sucking back Israeli spittle and various Wall Street fluids and breaking every promise he ever made in the process. Mitt-the-shit, meanwhile, has been kept busy justifying the ways of man to dog (pooch enjoyed that ride in his own dung!) and of boss to worker, while covering over photos of himself and friends sticking greenbacks into every orifice known to Grey. Verily, sayeth Mammon, these are my divine sons in whom I am well pleased! 
       When a devout Mormon dies he gets his own private planet as a reward, with just himself and his little spirit wifey(s) ruling all. So when Obama's guy says that Romney is "on another planet" the reply is, well, no, but he's working on it. What a deal! Help wreck this planet during this life, get your own in the next. But everyone who ever lived in the White House shares this assumption of divine mandate, even especially the current occupant. Now we get those tea party types who think Obama is secretly not a Christian. They're right. He's a Mormon!
        Why, this is hell, said Marlowe's Mephistopheles of earth, nor am I out of it. Luc, we know where you are coming from.

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