Sunday, 20 January 2013

Bottoms Up!

O, won't we have a merry time, drinking whiskey, beer and wine, on coronation, coronation day! - English folk song(?) (from Ulysses)

It's party time in Obama Land but don't blame the media's lightheadedness on the bourbon. The prospect of four more years of getting paid for not doing their jobs would make anyone tipsy with delight. So drink up, journo, and don't worry about the hangover. No one's expecting anything serious from you tomorrow... or the next day. . . or the next. . . Just go to sleep in the fumes of mindless adulation and stay asleep for the next four years while your country goes to hell in a handbasket: debt, war, terrorism, immigration chaos and general dysfunction all await your eventual professional attention. But for now, drink to His Highness' health and piss on professionalism. Just don't get behind the wheel, fellas. Those fiscal cliffs can be tricky after a few tall ones. Looking for a little fun? Try the Spanish quarter, they'll show you a good time. Stay out of Rightsville, though. Those boys will roll you as soon as look at you. And the women are all whores! Need a cab? Just call al-Qaeda taxi co. They never sleep. One more for the road not taken? Make it a double. Cheers, gents!

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