Thursday, 23 July 2015

The Party

Alright, children, who would like some cake and ice cream? One at a time!
Now, Donald, how do you always manage to be first in line?
I dunno, m’am. Guess I’m just lucky.
He pushed me out of the way, Nanny.
Aw, Jeb, what a crybaby you are.
Am not! You’re a bully! I’m gonna tell my brother.
So tell him! What’s he gonna do - start a war?
It’s true, Nanny, Donald’s a bully. I saw him picking on John. He said John wasn’t brave.
You little snitch, Ricky! You’re just jealous cuz I’m not afraid of the gang and you are.
I am not afraid. And they’re not a gang. They’re my friends. Why don’t you go home, Donald. Nobody likes you.
Teddy likes me.
Yeah, I like Donald.
We’re pals. And what kind of friends break into your house, Ricky?
They didn’t!
They did, too! And you let them. You’re a chicken and John’s a sissy.
Children, please! Eat your cake and stop all this fighting.
What now, Lindsey?
Donald stepped on my phone.
Did not!

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

What The Donald should say

"I see that Mr. Rick Parry finds my comments “offensive.” Perry, as you may remember from his previous bid for the nomination, wants us to “have a heart” when it comes to the  issue of people entering our country illegally. Well, you know they say charity begins at home. So I’d like Rick to know right off that I do have a heart. I have a heart for the people of Arizona and New Mexico whose property is being overrun and vandalized by our new "guests;” I have a heart for the women and children who have been raped and even killed by some of these marauding migrants; I have a heart for the border patrol trying to do the impossible with insufficient funds or support from Washington; I have a heart for Americans whose jobs are being given to undocumented workers by unscrupulous contractors and farmers; I have a heart for the many Mexicans now waiting patiently in line to be admitted legally who see that crime pays the queue-jumpers; most of all I have a heart for my country and yours, whose future looks more and more uncertain under the present drift of things.  And so I ask the governor and all my critics in turn, Won’t you have a heart?